Now, before I hit 20s and forget all these teenager issues and shit we deal with everyday in life, lemme rant here x.x
So, what's with parents and screaming even though the whole matter is over with?
Like, I make a mistake, I get it I'm wrong, I apologize and would try to not do it again.
But, according to moms we never change.We would still repeat them, and so to make us not forget, they keep scolding until you walk away.
Take, for example, the month or two you when you feel rebellious for no reason.
During those times you just feel like saying 'no' to everything, and you feel as if you own your own life and your parents have nothing to do with it.
And you start 'talking back' to parents and doing things exactly the way your parents told you not to.
I had a half year of it, the rebellious-ness.
But I believe I'm over it and normal again.
Not for mom,cause it's enough for mom to go on how much '(I)'ve changed.'
Today was another one of those days.
My sister's friend comes over to complete some project, and we have quite fun time because I'm more or less close to her as well.
And at night, at around 8.30pm, she tells my sister we need to drop her off at her place. Her house is far, not far like in another city, but far enough you'd take atleast half an hour to reach.
So sis tells mom we would take a taxi to and fro since it's dark and the area is really, really scary. And horrible.
But when her and the friend come to me, they first say they want to take a taxi, and I say 'I want Baskin Robbins!' because I'm an idiot wanting ice cream at night.
And suddenly it was decided we'd walk to her house so as to not waste the taxi money.
Now, believe me when I say I don't know who suggested the walking part. It could have been me, knowing the kind of impulses I have and love for walking, but it could also be either of the younger girls.
One big mistake was, I didn't know - didn't make sure- that my sis didn't notice mom about this.
And make it two; we forgot our cells and the friend's one died.
So we walk and have a fairly good time, and have BR.
And by the time we realize, it's 10pm.
So my sis and I take a taxi back home after dropping her off, and when we return home, you can guess.
My mom is so angry even hell would have been scared.
When she demands an explanation, my sister simply tells her I was the one who said we should walk because I wanted BR.
She then starts screaming how I am so irresponsible as the elder sister, and all the usual 'you disappoint me' thing. I don't say anything but sorry since,well, I knew nothing was going to work, but after some time I couldn't hold it in and tell her I didn't know. And then my sis gets another round of scolding.
This goes hence and forth, and she starts saying how the friend's parents are also irresponsible that they not come to pick her up- as the custom here- and tell her to come back with us and they go to bed (that's what her mom told her apparently, that she would hit the sacks.)
So I start arguing how she is wrong about her parents and that it's my fault and I'm sorry. But she wouldn't accept it, and tells me:
'you're always like this.'
The thing is, my father is never here, both physically and emotionally because as every family has, even we have our little drama, and mom handles everything, even money. And she means the world to me and my sister.
But I always end up saying hurtful things to her and she repeats the same thing over and over again, that I've changed and become something who's not me and such.
What I get is, we are all in the wrong, and mom is 95% right, and my sister is wrong at saying that- but I owe her too much- and I am wrong because I am unbelievably irresponsible. I could have said no to walking, I could have informed mom, I should have taken the cell no matter what. I could have just shut my mouth. But I did none.
And hurt my mom.
Now, although I feel guilty and right this moment want to go back and apologize, we've been through this so many times I can imagine the scene in my head already- she saying I'm always like this, always disobeying her.
Which is true. But, blame everything on teenage issues, I can't do anything.
And just stay, confused, guilty and the way I am.
So, what's with parents and screaming even though the whole matter is over with?
Like, I make a mistake, I get it I'm wrong, I apologize and would try to not do it again.
But, according to moms we never change.We would still repeat them, and so to make us not forget, they keep scolding until you walk away.
Take, for example, the month or two you when you feel rebellious for no reason.
During those times you just feel like saying 'no' to everything, and you feel as if you own your own life and your parents have nothing to do with it.
And you start 'talking back' to parents and doing things exactly the way your parents told you not to.
I had a half year of it, the rebellious-ness.
But I believe I'm over it and normal again.
Not for mom,cause it's enough for mom to go on how much '(I)'ve changed.'
Today was another one of those days.
My sister's friend comes over to complete some project, and we have quite fun time because I'm more or less close to her as well.
And at night, at around 8.30pm, she tells my sister we need to drop her off at her place. Her house is far, not far like in another city, but far enough you'd take atleast half an hour to reach.
So sis tells mom we would take a taxi to and fro since it's dark and the area is really, really scary. And horrible.
But when her and the friend come to me, they first say they want to take a taxi, and I say 'I want Baskin Robbins!' because I'm an idiot wanting ice cream at night.
And suddenly it was decided we'd walk to her house so as to not waste the taxi money.
Now, believe me when I say I don't know who suggested the walking part. It could have been me, knowing the kind of impulses I have and love for walking, but it could also be either of the younger girls.
One big mistake was, I didn't know - didn't make sure- that my sis didn't notice mom about this.
And make it two; we forgot our cells and the friend's one died.
So we walk and have a fairly good time, and have BR.
And by the time we realize, it's 10pm.
So my sis and I take a taxi back home after dropping her off, and when we return home, you can guess.
My mom is so angry even hell would have been scared.
When she demands an explanation, my sister simply tells her I was the one who said we should walk because I wanted BR.
She then starts screaming how I am so irresponsible as the elder sister, and all the usual 'you disappoint me' thing. I don't say anything but sorry since,well, I knew nothing was going to work, but after some time I couldn't hold it in and tell her I didn't know. And then my sis gets another round of scolding.
This goes hence and forth, and she starts saying how the friend's parents are also irresponsible that they not come to pick her up- as the custom here- and tell her to come back with us and they go to bed (that's what her mom told her apparently, that she would hit the sacks.)
So I start arguing how she is wrong about her parents and that it's my fault and I'm sorry. But she wouldn't accept it, and tells me:
'you're always like this.'
The thing is, my father is never here, both physically and emotionally because as every family has, even we have our little drama, and mom handles everything, even money. And she means the world to me and my sister.
But I always end up saying hurtful things to her and she repeats the same thing over and over again, that I've changed and become something who's not me and such.
What I get is, we are all in the wrong, and mom is 95% right, and my sister is wrong at saying that- but I owe her too much- and I am wrong because I am unbelievably irresponsible. I could have said no to walking, I could have informed mom, I should have taken the cell no matter what. I could have just shut my mouth. But I did none.
And hurt my mom.
Now, although I feel guilty and right this moment want to go back and apologize, we've been through this so many times I can imagine the scene in my head already- she saying I'm always like this, always disobeying her.
Which is true. But, blame everything on teenage issues, I can't do anything.
And just stay, confused, guilty and the way I am.
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| what must one do when they hurt the most important person? |
